Body Swapping
by prymetymeglitch
Summary: Set in Season 6 post 'Dead Things.' Xander stumbles onto Buffy and Spike's relationship in a most interesting way after a spell from Anya goes awry.
1. Default Chapter

Walking through the front door to her home, Buffy had the slight feeling that as soon as she crossed the threshold to the living room she would be bombarded by questions from her friends on the latest events. Not that she didn't appreciate their concern, but the appologetic glances she'd get once in awhile ate her up inside.

She was surprised when she entered that nobody was home. She almost felt a little lonely. . . almost. All she wanted to do right now was relax and fall asleep, after she got something to eat. Buffy could just about hear Faith's voice in her head. 'Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?'

Buffy went over to the fridge to grab whatever was left inside that wasn't yet expired when she noticed the sticky note on the door. 'Went out to the Bronze, be home by 11. I'm sleeping over at Janices tonight. Love ya, Dawn and Willow.' She plucked the note off the fridge door and bent over to throw it in the trash when she felt the slight burn of pain in her lower back. Remembering the battle she just had with a demon twice her size caused Buffy to realize that her whole body ached.

She didn't know what or who the demon was, just that it was strong, not nearly as strong as Glory but almost as strong as Buffy herself. It was slain now but she cringed when she thought of the fight. Her head wasn't really in the 'search and destroy' state of mind which led to her being pretty beat up. She had scrapes and bruises all over, minor stuff that would heal by morning, but her back might take a few days. The demon literally picked her up and body slammed her on a tomb stone like one would see in a wrestling match. The only thing stopping Buffy's back from being completely broken was her Slayer strength.

Forgetting her hunger, Buffy limped up the stairs wincing occasionally to the thoughts of a nice warm shower. Stripping her clothes off carefully she turned the water on and waited for it to warm up before she entered. It wasnt long before the bathroom steamed up and the hot water on her lower back felt good and helped her relaxed. Buffy nearly jumped when she heard a knock on the door.

"Hey Willow, I'll be out in a few"

But the door opened revealing a peroxide-headed vampire, still bruised from two nights ago when he received a pretty brutal beating from Buffy. The thoughts came rushing back to her of the girl's dead body and the trio of geeks and how she abused Spike when he was just trying to help. She knew she shouldn't think like this, Spike being an evil, souless killer and all, but deep down Buffy did feel sorry for him.

"Hello, love" The sound of his voice so low and sultry could make shivers down her spine.

"Spike, what the hell are you doing here!? Can't you say invasion of privacy?" Her voice was high and aggitated. He had seen her naked before, plenty of times, but this time she was a little more vulnerable. She became extremely uptight realizing the only thing seperating them was a very thin shower curtain.

He studied her for a moment taking in her sweet scent and noticing the bruises and marks all over her body. "You're hurt."

Buffy relaxed a little at his words and looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Yeah. . . big bad got pretty rough tonight."

Spike started to take off his leather duster and shirt underneath before moving to his boots. The movement was caught in the corner of Buffy's eye. " Hey! What are you doing?"

"I'm comin' in." Simple as that with three little words, Spike made Buffy tense up again, afraid of what might be coming next. She grabbed the shower curtain from him, trying to cover up as much as she could.

"No, Spike. . ." She was trying to find the exact words to make him back off without physically making him. "You'll get all wet." She noticed he still had his black pants on and that was the first thing she could think of in her mind.

He smirked at her comment and looked into her innocent eyes. "Thanks for your concern but I'll risk it." He grabbed the shower curtain back and climbed into the shower facing Buffy, the water raining into her back. She tried to resist him and flinched as she felt the pain in her back come alive again. Spike tilted his head to one side as he looked her up and down in the steamy shower. Buffy's head was lowered, her chin almost resting on her chest. He could feel her heartbeat rising and he took his fingers and lifted her face so to look him straight in the eye.

"I won't hurt you pet."

Buffy couldn't say a word. She didn't know what to say to him. His eye was still swolen and his face still black and blue. The guilt of her actions flooded her mind but before she could say anything Spike told her to turn around. He grabbed the bar of soap and lathered it up in his hands before he started gently rubbing it on her body.

"Spike. . ."

"Sshhh, I'll take care of you." She couldn't protest. Buffy had never seen this softer side of Spike before. He wasn't trying to take advantage of her.

When he was done, Spike turned off the water and pushed back the curtain, getting out of the shower first. He offered his hands to Buffy and she gladly took them, helping her out. She was like a porcelien doll, all small and fragile. Spike took a towel and dried her body being just as carefull as before with neither of them saying a word. Buffy grabbed her bathrobe off the back of the door and put it on as Spike dried him self off, or at least what was exposed.

"Come on, lets get you to bed."

They entered Buffy's bedroom and Spike pulled back the covers for her, acting as gentlemanly as he could. She didn't even change, just clung to her cotton robe and tried as best she could to crawl into bed without aggrivating her lower back too much. When she finally got comfortable Spike slipped back into the bathroom to grab his clothes and then returned to her bedside. He sat on the edge of the bed, sliding his shoes and shirt on while Buffy watched him, wondering what was going on in his head of his.

"I'm sorry." whispered Buffy, her emotions swelling up inside. "For what I. . . said a-and did to you. I'm sorry."

Spike took a minute to think of the right words to say. "No worries, love." He breathed in, frightened of how these next words would sound to her ears. "Can't say I . . . actually deserved it."

"No, no you didn't. Just w-with the dead girl, Katrina, it was too much. But, I just don't understand how a couple of geeks can. . . just, screw up my life." She half laughed. "But, then again, it was pretty much already screwed over as good as it could be." She sighed, wondering how her life might be different, 'If what? If I didn't die? Or if I wasn't brought back?'

"You know I wouldn't let anything happen to you, right?" Spike asked hoping he wouldn't just get the brushoff.

Buffy looked him straight in those electric blue eyes of his. "Yeah" She gave him a weak smile. "I know."

They looked at each other like that before Spike slowly brushed away a stray hair from her face, leaning in to kiss her soft lips. . .

"Buffy?!" The voice out of nowhere startled the secret lovers. Buffy could hear muffled footsteps up the hall stairs. Spike jumped, not sure if he should hide or, or do something. He just stood up, his eyes searching Buffys for an answer. "Buffy?! Heyyy, there you are." It was Xander. Xander, who was here in the house, in the room that just moments ago Buffy was alone in with an undead creature who Xander hated with a fiery passion. Fiery enough to turn the vampire into dust.

"Spike...?" He searched both parties eyes, coming up with no reasonable explanation. "What the hell. You sick son-of-a-bitch!" The words were fuming out of Xanders mouth. "You just can't give it up can you!? Buffy! Did he touch you? Did he hurt you? Are you okay?"

"No! It's oka-" Buffy tried but before she could finish Xander grabbed ahold of Spike, the leather duster wrapped in his fists. She could just imagine what this scene would look like to him.

"If you laid a finger on her. . ."

"Oh get ahold of yourself, you bloody git. Like I would harm a hair on her body!" Spike was getting annoyed. All he heard from Xander now-a-days was how low and unworthy he was.

"Xander... don't," Buffy tried.

"What did you do? Why are you here?" Xander yelled, his anger and concern burning inside.

Spike smirked, tilting his head to provoke the whelp. "Wouldn't you like to know?" In a flash Spike was slammed up against the wall, Buffy sitting helplessly in bed.

"Xander!" Buffy tried to sit up, her back still aching that it made doing anything difficult.

By now he was laying a few punches on Spike and surprisingly, Spike was taking it even in his already bruised state. When he got a chance, Spike pushed the whelp off of him, knocking him into a bedside table but not hard enough to send the chip off. He walked a few steps forward, standing in front of the door. Xander came right back at him knocking him into the hallway where they struggled before Spike was knocked down the stairs, tumbling and seriously injuring any normal mortal body. But Spike was anything but normal and certainly not mortal so he just got up, brushed himself off and slammed the front door as he and his humility walked outside.

At the sound of Spike rolling down the stairs, Buffy jumped and yelped as she cringed at the painful pull of her lower back. Xander was in the hallway, staring at the door when he heard Buffy cry out in pain. He rushed back in to see what happened and Buffy grabbed her robe, just remembering that was all she was wearing. " Oh my god, Buffy, whats wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. I-it's just my back."

"What happened? Did Spike-"

"No! Spike was just helping me." Buffy carefully laid back, looking up at Xander. "Some, demon thing, got me on patrol tonight. What are you doing here anyway?"

A little suspicious that that was all Spike was doing Xander let the subject drop and explained to Buffy that he was just dropping Willow off and making sure she knew that Dawn would not be home tonight.

"Yeah, I saw the note."

"Okay then, you sure you're okay?"

"Yep, special healing powers remember? I'll be good again in a couple of days. You don't have to worry."

"You know I always do." Xander smiled and then left, leaving Buffy to her own thoughts. It wasn't long till she was in full sleep mode. In fact, Willow had just come up to peek in on her when there was snoring that indicated that Buffy was good as dead, in sleep terms anyway. 


	2. 2

Buffy woke up later than expected to the sounds of birds chirping from outside. She lazily opened her eyes adjusting them from total darkness to the bright sunshine of morning. She peered at the window, noticing that it was opened a few inches. 'I don't think I left that open last night.' She strayed a moment, peering at the window as she sat up in bed before shaking all the 'what if's' and 'buts' and 'hows' from her mind and instead focused on getting dressed.

She walked down the stairs after looking in at both bedrooms and seeing that nobody was there and that everyone was up.

"Well I say we all go shopping today since its my day off and my jeans all got-" she called out cheerfully.

Buffy stopped at the bottom of the stairs observing the serenity off the house. No tv, no running water, just her voice and her footsteps. "Willow? Dawn?" she called out. She knew it was a fat chance that Dawn would be home this early but figured Willow would be at least.

Recalling the opened bedroom window Buffy started to get jittery wondering if there was some kind of demon in the house. Her slayer sense kicked in as she slowly ventured into the living room. Buffy started to become anxious, feeling another presence in the room. She stopped, looking at her reflection in the tv screen and saw nothing. 'Okay, if this is some kind of ghost thing that those geeks sent on me, I'm moving 'kicking their asses' to the top of my list,' she thought. She could feel an icy hand reach out and gently brush her shoulder and as soon as it did, she spun around and laid a right hook into its nose.

"Ow! Geez Slayer, I thought we've moved beyond the nose by this point."

It was Spike. Again. Pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to stop any bleeding. A part of Buffy wanted to reach out and embrace him and ask him if he was hurt from last night but the other part, the part that always seemed to have the most control told her to kick his ass for sneaking up on her.

"Now why are you here? I thought you left last night." Buffy said with an edge in her voice.

"Like the bloody whelp could really throw me out." He scoffed. "It was all part of my plan," he lied.

"Your plan? To do what exactly?"

"Uh, well. I'm not sure yet. I'm still workin' on it." He shifted uncomfortably like a mouse caught in a corner by a cat.

Buffy didn't say anything just turned and went into the kitchen, trying to best ignore Spike and his games as much as she could. When she got there she found the sink filled with dishes and Willow no where in sight.

"So, are you feeling better then?" Spike drawled out.

"Yeah, not perfect ya know, b-but better. Almost a ripe peach."

Spike made a face and walked over to the sink next to Buffy from the doorway where he had originally been standing. "I hate peaches."

"Is that why you call Angel 'peaches' cause I really don't get you obsession with that." She smiled at her witty comment.

Spike ignored it and inched closer to Buffy, running his hands down her shoulders. She pulled away after a few seconds and starting to get uncomfortable.

"Willow." Buffy warned.

"I'm not so sure Red's up for a threesome." She rolled her eyes at his comment. "She's not here, love. She left early this morning." Spike could feel Buffy become almost disappointed or nervous that they were alone. She was never much one for opening up to him lately.

"Did she say where she was going?"

"Didn't actually see her. Just heard her up and about and then leave."

"Oh. . .wait a minute. Where were you? She didn't let you in?" Buffy asked

Spike didn't answer right away but Buffy's glare was obvious. "Oh, bloody hell. I was up in your room." He said quickly. "I snuck back in through your window last night. Wanted to make sure you were really okay, but you were sleeping." Buffy thought she caught a twinkle in his eye. "So I just laid by your bed and dozed off."

Buffy felt a familiar tug at her heart and the fluttery flaps of butterflies in her stomach. She felt free and lighthearted but at the same time insecure and unresponsive. How was it that Spike could be such an ass some days and then sweet as rain the next? He was so unpredictable and it scared her, never knowing what personality he'd have from day to day. But then she was the same way, wasn't she? Always either treating him like crap and running out or beating him up like the evil being he is, or was. She didn't know.

He loved her, she knew it but she didn't know what she felt. Tara told her it was okay, that it was okay to love him. And it was okay to use him. But was it? She had been dragging him along on a rollercoaster of emotions and hardships and he always stayed. Like her very own puppy dog.

Spike watched her debate his words in her head. He'd been totally honest with her and was anxious about her response. Would she just throw it back in his face or finally open up to her feelings for him? He had no idea what she was thinking. Buffy was just standing there, her head tilted to the side a little, her eyes cast away form him, somewhere off in space.

Buffy shook out of her trance and looked Spike in the eyes. She stepped foward and slipped her hand behind his neck, bringing him closer. She pressed her lips against his, catching him a little by surprise. He returned the kiss, his hands on her waist. Their tounges battled inside but not in the lustful, 'I have to have you now' way, more in a romantic, passionate way. Buffy pulled back and rested her hands on his chest.

"Thank you." she said almost in a whisper.

Xander strolled merrily into the Magic Box humming a little tune to himself. He'd been in a good mood ever since this morning when he remembered that he was the one who knocked Spike down and kicked him out. Xander never liked the guy and could never comprehend why Buffy always kept him around. It annoyed him to no end that Spike still had a crush on Buffy but last night pushed him over the edge. Seeing Spike in her room, all alone together sent a frosty, violent chill down his spine. He could just imagine what Spike might have been tryin to do, but Xander pushed these thoughts out of his mind because this time, he was the one who came out on top.

"And how are my two beautiful ladies doing this evening?" Xander called out.

"Hello sweetie," replied Anya, a bright smile forming on her face.

Willow and Anya were sitting at the 'research table' when he walked in. He strode over and bent down to kiss Anya before taking a seat next to her. That's when he noticed all the Bridal magazines covering the table top.

"So I'm guessing you guys aren't researching the next Big Bad?"

"Only if its a demon who craves cake and wedding dresses with their chaos," Willow said with a little chuckle.

Anya looked up from the magazine she was flipping through. Her face showed alarm and agitation. "Hey, that's not funny! We don't need a demon-party-crasher at the wedding. That's like a jinx you're putting on us there."

"It's okay hunny," remarked Xander. "No Big Bad is gonna ruin out wedding." He gave her an extra reassuring glance.

"Except for your parents." Anya added.

"Right, except for my parents."

Anya seemed satisfied with that answer and dived right back into her magazine. Willow gave him one of those 'Thank God its you and not me' looks before consulting Anya on a style of necklines.

"So, how was Buffy acting this morning when she got up?" Xander asked to Willow.

"She was still sleeping when I left. Why? Is something wrong?"

"Well Spike was there. Didn't you see him when you came in?"

"Um. . .no." Willow could see the fear wash over Xanders eyes. "But I was still in the car talking to Anya. We probably just didn't see him," she added quickly. That seemed to calm him down a bit. "Do you think there is something going on?"

"Yeah! I mean, when I walked in on them they were just acting real. . .guilty. And then when I was pummeling Spike, Buffy was all like 'Xander no! Spike was just helping me.' "

"You know, it does seem like they have been acting different when they're together. And Buffy has been patrolling alot lately." said Willow.

"Do you think Spike put a spell on Buffy? Maybe to get her to like him?" Anya asked. "And by the way, that sounds nothing like her."

"No," uttered Willow before Xander had the chance. "If there was one, you know. . . m-magical energies, I-I would have felt it. I would have sensed it."

Xander looked stunned to hear this. Willow was his best friend and always would be. They knew everything about each other. Willow's magic addiction was scary to face, not only because of how much power she had, but because it almost came right out of the blue. For Xander at least. It was just like, one day she was different. It pained him to see her so sad these days after Tara left. But she was doing better. Willow was much stronger than anyone realized.

"Well that's good!" commented Anya. "Although not for you really. Going through the magic withdrawl and still being able to sense it."

"Yeah," Willow said quietly. "But if there's not a spell, what does that mean?"

The question was followed by complete silence. There were a million and one posabilities. Could Buffy just be defending the chipped vampire? Or was it more than that? Spike had been around alot since Buffy's death and they had seemed to grow closer after her wakening.

It seemed like time would last forever in silence and it was getting to everyone. Willow finally broke it off and announced that she was off to her afternoon classes. It had been a slow day for Anya and she decided to start closing up the shop early. Xander was still seated, thinking to himself when a sudden memory of an annoying vampire caused him to jump. Just a couple weeks ago when Buffy was invisible and he went to visit Spike. . .

"Oh my God!"

TO BE CONTINUED. . . 


	3. 3

Xander was still seated, thinking to himself when a sudden memory of an annoying vampire caused him to jump. Just a couple weeks ago when Buffy was invisible. . . 

Wandering down into the dank part of his crypt, he finally found the vampire he was looking for.

"Spike? What are you doing?" This was one of the more stranger moments Xander had caught himself in on all the years on the Hellmouth. Spike was lying in bed, face down and obviously naked with only a white sheet covering his back. He was doing some sort of movement in the air with his body, and he was breathing heavily. He stayed in that position and only turned his head when Xander spoke.

"What am I. . . what does it look like I'm doin' you nit, I'm exercising aren't I?" Spike said defensivly. He did a couple of more pushups and Xander could have swore he heard a yelp or moan.

"Exercising. In bed. Naked."

Spike finally stopped what he was doing and came over to sit at the edge of his bed, the bedsheet wrapped around his waist.

"A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let go. Gotta keep fit for the killing."

"Ya-huh. I'm looking for Buf-" Xander started.

"Haven't seen her." Spike stated quickly, almost too quick.

"Well uh, fact is you wouldn't. She's come down with a slight case of invisibility," he chuckled thinking of how ironic this case was but quickly sobered up when he remembered what his mission was.

"Yeah, how did, uh?"

"We don't know yet." Xander could have swore he heard the sound of. . . kissing noises? And Spike's ear was twitch slightly. . .

"Oh my God!"

Xander's cry of realization surprised Anya and made her jump. He struggled to reel in his thoughts of the past couple months. Buffy. . . a-and Spike? Together?

"No, no way" said Xander as he stood up and started talking to himself.

"Xander? What's wrong?" inquired Anya. He was pacing around in a circle, his fingers resting on his temples. He was muttering something about 'buts' and 'hows' and 'whys'.

Xander couldn't believe it. It was just speculation, but it made perfect sense. All this time that rotten bastard. . . right under his nose! And all the time he'd told Spike he'd have no chance in hell. . .they were just standing there giggiling at him! How could Buffy fall for his act? At least Angel had a soul! Xander hated Angel but he rather have his best friend sleeping with a vampire with a soul that a vampire with a chip...

"Wait a minute, what am I thinking!? She shouldn't be sleeping with any vampires!" he yelled outloud as he continued to pace.

"Who?" Anya asked clearly confused. "Xander, hunny, what's going on?."

Just then a thought hit him. Buffy would never let him stake Spike. No. . .there would have to be another way to get rid of him and this madness. To fix Buffy for once and for all. 'A spell! That's it! I'll cast a spell on Buffy so that she'll forget Spike even existed. Or, or I cast a spell on her to show her what Spike is really like. Yeah, like show her the monster he's been hiding from her.' He chuckled at his genius plan. But who would do the spell? He certainly couldn't and Willow was off the market. . .

"Xander, answer me!"

He looked over to his wonderful bride-to-be. An ex-vengence demon who owns a magic store. Perfect! Xander walked over to Anya and layed his hands on her shoulders.

"Anya hunny, have I told you lately how much I love you?" She smiled at his comment and he smiled back.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews but I just have to warn you, Xander is not shown in a positive light in this fic. I have nothing against the character or Nicky Brendon, it's just that "evil" Xander works for this fic.


	4. 4

The sun had set early this night in Sunnydale. It was also the term of the new moon which ment every light on every street corner would be lit. As she walked the cemetary, she eyed the statues and gravestones that marked the dead bodies of loved ones underneath. Normally they would be alit with the moon's glow, a bluish elegance absorbing them. But tonight there was no light, not even from the stars. It was a pity really, that the statues of angels and spirits looked so pale and vacant. Almost like mini demons keeping still until the precise moment they would strike.

Continuing on her path, Buffy fiddled with the stake that she held. It had been dull all night and quite uneventful. Letting her mind slip back to this morning, she relived the days events. First, there had been the waking up to Spike in the house, which was quite alarming, and then the smoochies. There had deffinately been a change in Spike over the past week, one that Buffy really liked. But she still was on the cautionary side of things.

When Dawn had come home, she shooed him out of the house, taking another blanket with him to protect him from the sun. What had that been? A total of three he still hasn't returned? Dawn was still being a little short with Buffy so to make it up, she took her on an all-day shopping trip. They came home with some great deals too, and some extra panties to replace the ones Spike either kept or ripped apart in his haste.

'Why is it every thing or thought I do now-a-days always involves him?' Buffy wondered to herself. He had become so apart of her life that sometims she found herself about to let slip their relationship with her friends. Dawn especially. Buffy knew they shared a close bond. Spike was like her dangerously cool older brother she never had. 'If Dawn knew about their. . . thing, it wouldn't exactly be the end of the world, right?' She was about to ponder some more to herself when the tiny hairs on the back of her neck started creeping upwards with a slight chilly sensation. 'At least I'll get some action tonight,' she thought. Little did she know that the action was just beginning.

There was a total of three vamps surrounding her. Not bad, but in her condition she decided to take it slowly. . .

"Hi. My name's Buffy. I'll be your Slayer for tonight."

They all charged at once. She side-kicked the one to her right, the closest of the three, sending him tumbling back. The front man was next leading with his right fist. She quickly blocked the punch, and with her stake in her hand, layed a right uppercut into his face. Unable to to bring her arm down, she realized that someone grabbed her arm with the stake in it, and bent it backwards before she got a look at him. He managed to get the stake out of her hand but dropped it on the ground. The goof gave Buffy enough time slide out of his grasp to knock the oncoming vamp to the ground.

Soon enough Buffy managed to regain her stake and dust the clumsy vamp who tried to take it from her. She still had two to deal with.

"Having fun without me are you?"

Without even missing a beat she knew he was closeby. That smell of whiskey and cigarettes, and of course the deep voice, could not be mistaken for anyone else. Spike stood about 10 feet away, leaning up against a towering tree, watching the Slayer work.

"Oh yes," Buffy replied dryly as she was bear-hugged from behind. "Tons."

Using the vamps arms for support, she leaned back and kicked the rising star coming towards her. She was still wraped tightly from behind when she felt his cold breath and the tips of his fangs on her neck. She knew what was coming next.

"Adios, Slayer," he slithered out in a mexican acent.

Without hesitation she used all the strength in her body to flip the vamp over, rolling him off her back. He slammed down hard and in a matter of seconds was dust.

Buffy stood up in fighting stance, ready for the last opponent. Stake in hand, her body was trembling all over with power. She glanced around knowing the last vampire was around somewhere but just out of sight. She caught Spike still standing where he was, arms crossed against his chest.

"So what, you're not going to help me tonight?" she asked.

"New shirt. Don't want to get it dirty." Plain and simple with just a hint of attitude. A sly grin crossed his face as Buffy arched her eyebrows.

She heard the sound of a tree branch break and felt the vamp behind her. She spun around quickly but he was alread in motion at full force, running as fast as he could towards her. In an instant, he rammed into Buffy, knocking her clean off her feet. As she hit the uneven ground, her almost healed back gave out. She cried out in pain giving the vamp full advantage. He grabbed and pinned her arms as he stradled her waist. Buffy fought back with all her might, scrambling and twisting underneath.

Spike loved watching Buffy fight. Sometimes when they were out patrolling together and came up on a group of newborn vamps, he'd get lost in the motions of her dance. Even back three or four years ago when he first came upon the Slayer he loved her. Her sheer courage and determination was unmistakeable. But now a slow freezing chill ran up and down his spine. His decaying intestines churned inside as his eyes widened in fear and panic. If his heart still beat it was lodged up in his throat.

It was almost as if her life flashed before her eyes. Feeling of regret and guilt consumed her. Buffy was holding out as best she could but she was still unable to bring her legs up or move. The vamp slowly lowered his face to her neck but not before Buffy head-butted him. He growled but remained on top, this time coming at her fast.

She thought she felt it. The pinch of her skin in his teeth. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth. . .but then it stopped. Buffy no longer felt the weight on top of her. Instead she was choking on dirt. More specifically vampire dust. She opened her eyes to see her knight in shining black armor standing above her.

"Eww," she managed to finally say. "You just dusted that vamp in my mouth."

"No need for thanks," Spike replied as he extended an hand out to help her up. She willingly took it and brushed herself off. "Thought I almost lost you there."

"Nah," she said casually, rolling the event of her shoulders like she almost wasn't killed. Again. Hiding all her raw emotions inside.

Buffy started to walk off but faultered as the pain sliced through her lower back. Spike caught her and let her lean on him for support as they walked off to his crypt in silence. Only a few hisses and ow's filled the heavy air on the way.

Once there, Spike helped her reach the sarcophagus and set her atop. Buffy watched him go to his freezer and pull out an icepack and then head to get a small towel until he finally came back over. He wrapped the towel around the ice and gently placed it on Buffy's back. She gasped at the coolness.

"A little lower," she commanded and he quickly obliged.

Buffy placed her hand on top of his free one beside her and turned her head to look him in those baby blue eyes.

"You know, you're really nice when you want to be."

"What?! No, no I am not nice," he started panickly. "I'm evil and souless and a killer and . . . " He exhaled some un-needed air and visably relaxed at her smile. "Don't tell anyone."

Buffy's hand came to rest on his face as they stared into each others eyes. His were filled with devotion and concern. She brought him closer into a passion filled kiss. Her aching back and the icepack were soon forgotted as they fell into each others arms. 


	5. 5

"But why do I have to do it?" 

"Because you're the only one with this kind of experience."

"Not like this!"

"Come on Anya, you've done stuff like this before. I mean, you're an ex-vengence demon. Relationships and scorned women are your thing!"

"Yeah, but Buffy isn't exactly scorned here. Xander, have you really given this thought? You're messing with some huge consequences," Anya said softly to get the point across.

Xander had given it thought. Much needed however unwanted visual thought. Spike is a killer, however much anyone tries to deny it. It's not like he has a soul or is any good influence to the Scoobies. All he was is a mess that needs to be cleaned up. 'And I can do that!' Xander thought. Lately life hadn't been that great for Buffy, despite how much everyone tried to believe it was. They had brought her back but at what cost? To sending her straight into the arms of a demon?! Willow had wanted to fix Buffy, but look how that turned out. Everyone lost thier memories of themselves! This was different. This was a way to get rid of the vampire and bring Buffy back to her real loved ones.

"This is the right decision," Xander told Anya. "I know it is."

The couple stood in a moment of silence, Xander searching her for some response. It didn't seem like a good idea to Anya. This kind of spell could get way out of control. But Buffy did need fixing. She wasn't the same anymore and that didn't make Xander happy. Which also caused a lot of problems for her since it seemed they could never go to bed without him saying something about Buffy. Even after the fantastic sex!

"Okay I'll do it. But if something bad happens and somebody gets hurt before the wedding it'll be all your fault!" she stated.

"Nothing will happen, I promise," Xander assured her. "So what do we need for the spell?"

About an hour later after they had found the certain spell and ingredients everything was set for motion. Anya had sent Xander home just a short while ago for being too jittery and anxious. He was almost excited for this to happen. Like a little kid waiting for the ice cream man to come around the corner in his little truck and give away free samples.

She cleared the floor to give herself space and went over everything in her mind again. Five candles for the circle: red, white, black, blue and yellow. Each represented their own characteristics that were specific for this spell. Red was for inner strength, yellow for intellect, white for protection and purity and black also for protection. Ordinary people usually forgot that black ment protection and wasn't a sign for evil. But being on the hellmouth around witches and vampires and also owning a magic shop had given Anya more knowledge than most. The most important candle was the blue which would stand at the top of the circle where Anya would be facing. It represented healing and truth, the most important factors to the spell.

Next she would need some incense. The spell called for two kinds of herbs, both sandalwood and sage. Sage was for healing and purity and sandalwood was for protection and clensing. Anya decided that stick incense would be easiest to use and carefully picked out two seperate plates to let the ashes fall into.

Another herb was also called for but not to burn. Rue which was for seeing mistakes was to be placed around an object of the "accepting party." She guessed that ment the person who the spell was being performed on. So before he left, Xander gave Anya a picture of Buffy from his wallet.

Once everything was in place, Anya stood in the middle of the circle and lit the five candles and incense. She kneeled down with the spell book in her lap and focused her energy on the performance. She hoped this wouldn't be one of those 'big lights and poofy smoke' shows. She only had to read the spell once so she was determined to give it her best shot.

_To help a friend who is in need   
__With this spell let them see, let them see   
Find the answers to their mistakes   
With this spell set them free, set them free   
Open their eyes tolet them learn   
With this spell let them see, set them free_

After the spell was said Anya closed her eyes and focused on the power vibrating around her. She could feel the buzz in the air and the fire from the candles grow. There was a small breeze that circled around her for a moment. When Anya finally opened her eyes the candles and incense had abrubtly stopped burning and it was utterly dark inside and out. She looked over to the front of the store and stared for a moment. Neither the door or windows were open. The little breeze had come from the spell! At that moment Anya wasn't sure whether to feel happy or terrified that the spell had actually worked.

Anya starting picking up the candles, mentally computing the cost so to charge Xander. After all it was his spell. She started to feel lightheaded after only a few moments and accidently dropped the white candle, shattering it on the hard cement floor. She was about to collapse when she grabbed the chair to the table and sat down. Her mind was swirling and her eyes became blurry. It was only a matter of seconds before the night closed in on her and everything turned to black.

TO BE CONTINUED. . .


	6. 6

She awoke to the coolness against her cheek. All around her was the tight embrace of a cold man against her warm body. Somehow or another they had managed to get themselves on the bed this time, instead of under some rug. Buffy laid wrapped up against Spike's body; her head lay against his chest with his arm drapped around her shoulders. 

Last night had been amazingly. . . odd. It was tender and loving, soft and compasionate. Completely opposite of their usual nights. Sex to Spike was two grinding bodies compelled together humping like bunnies for hours on end. That's what they usually did. It was nothing more than a way to feel, for her at least. Or it once was. Last night. . .changed things. She was starting to see the man behind the monster. She was starting to. . . no. It's not love. It would inever/i be love.

But for once Buffy didn't feel the necessity to leave right at this instance. Maybe that was because he hadn't opened his mouth yet. He was still fast asleep, pratically dead to the world.

She traced her fingers along his stomach, outlining the muscles of his abs. He didn't even twitch. She remembered when he used to do this to her. Awake her with the chilly sensation of his tounge inside her. She ran her fingers down and found his semi-hard. She straddled him and brought her mouth down gliding it up and down his shaft. Spike shifted slightly at the touch and a deep groan emmited from his throat. Buffy brought her tounge to the tip and circled it just how he liked it.

The sensation was too much for Spike and he couldn't act asleep any longer. He kept his eyes closed as his hand reached down to Buffy's hair, a sign for her to keep going.

"Oohh, Anya," he moaned.

Buffy's head snapped up. Her eyes were filled with anger and hurt. Of all of Spike's games, roleplaying was not one of her favorites. He had never used it on her before and now was not the best time either. Unless it wasn't a game. . .

"What did you just say?" she demanded.

Spike finally opened his eyes at the strange voice. And what a sight it was to see. What was she doing here? And in that position?! It had to be a dream, that was the only explination for it. Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream. But the Slayers' eyes kept glaring at him. This really wasn't a dream.

"B-Buffy?!"

He looked down to where her mouth had just been. "Woah! Not mine!" he exclaimed at the very long and very hard cock. He tried to squirm away but she was still straddling him.

"Spike? Is this some kind of joke?" Every syllable was dipped with outrage and confusion.

Had she just called him Spike? This was too weird. He looked around the room as his fear grew up inside him. This wasn't the apartment. This was the vampire's crypt! His heartbeat excellerated and his breathing became heavier. . . only he didn't need it. He brought one of his hands up to his chest and lay it over his heart. No beat. He slowly brought his hands up in front of his face and just like he guessed, they weren't his.

This wasn't Xander Harris' body, this was Spike's!

He was up faster than you could say 'abracadabra' or any other term you could use to say he was faster than. He was trembling all over and Buffy was still staring at him, waiting for him to say something. But what could he say? 'Hey Buffster! Guess what? I'm trapped in Spike's body and you just went down on me and oh yeah, I know about you two gettin on with the dirty!' This was a total nightmare.

So many thoughts were racing through his mind and all the time Xander was just trying to reign them in and keep breathing the unneeded air. He should have felt totally humiliated that he was naked in that moment, but the thought barely crossed his mind. After all it wasn't exactly his body that he'd have to be embarrased in. He wasn't even thinking about the spell or Anya or the fact that she would be waking up to Spike in his body. All he could concentrate on was the half naked Buffy in front of him.

How could Buffy be so stupid? Had the fact that Spike was a souless killer just vanish from her mind when she jumped into bed with him? And how long had she been having this fling behind everyone's backs? He could feel the anger boiling inside and the pain and jealousy ripping through him.

Xander was hurt more than anything. Hurt because his bestest friend couldn't turn to him. Was there really that much of a wedge between them? But Xander couldn't see that; he was cloaked. And it was time to do something.

"What the hell do you thing your doin' here, Slayer?" he asked trying to best imitate Spike. But he didn't have to because he was in Spike's body which ment he had Spike's voice.

"What do you mean?" she said in all sincerity.

As Xander started to pace back and forth as he always did when he was nervous and distressed, Buffy slowly climbed out of the bed. She must have thought this was a game the way she strutted herself so playfully. Xander was awestruck. So many times in high school he wished he could be where he was in that instant, gazing upon her beauty. His eyes were traveling along her breasts and down her golden stomach to her. . . Xander shuddered as he came out of the moment. He spun away from her so to not be tempted.

"God, put on some clothes will you." he exagerated the harshness in his tone as he looked for some pants.

Her eyebrows furrowed a bit and she flinched at the insult. Spike was acting like he didn't even know who she was, what she could do. She'd stake him in an instant if he. . .but the thought was usless; she never would. She wasn't sure if it was for pity or something else that she never could stake him. Since he got the chip at least.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked as she looked for her clothes.

"Absolutley nothin', pet."

"Then why are you acting like all of a sudden you switched from Dr. Jeckle to Mr. Hyde?"

Xander hesitated at his answer. If he acted now it would almost guarantee that Buffy would never look twice at Spike again. Hopefully though she wouldn't act too soon in staking him that he could get out of this god forsaken body. Although he wasn't enjoying the thought of drinking down some blood, he was starting to get hungry.

He turned back around to answer her. "Listen, sometimes we do things, spur of the moment an' all, that in the end we regret deeply and profoundly and unfortunatly unforgetably. This is just one of those things so if you just push off, don't say a word to anyone we'll all be the better for it." Xander drawled out, his tone almost mocking her current insecurity.

Buffy was baffled at his response. "Are you saying that iyou/i are embarrassed of. . .to be with ime/i?" she asked slowly. "Mr. iI''m-so-in-love-with-the-Slayer-that-I-follow-her-around-stalking-her-every-move/i?"

"Yeah, pretty much. And please, he never loved you. It was all some stupid fascination. . ."

"He?" she asked not sure what Spike meant with that line.

"Spi-" Xander started but caught himself before any damage was delt. "I mean I, I never loved you."

Buffy felt as if she had just been taken down and beaten over and over and over again. She felt filthy and used. She had been the new toy dangled in front of the puppy. And now that he got it, played with it and ripped its insides out, he had no use for it anymore. Just another collectable to be stacked in the garbage.

"You son-of-a-bitch! How could you do that to me?" Her eyes began to burn with the familiar sensation of tears. Buffy was adamant that she would not let them fall, not in front of him.

She was now fully clothed, only missing her jacket and boots. Spike wasn't expecting the heavy punch to his face. That was a good thing because it ment it hurt even more. He staggered back a bit and tripped over the side table and fell to the floor.

"Ow," he whined forgetting once again who he was supposed to be. It was harder than it looked; to keep reminding yourself that you are the vampire you loathe and despise. "Why'd you hit me? That hurt."

"Oh great now I get to deal with a spoiled neutered vampire. What, too tired to play punchbag-Buffy?"

"Duh, chip," replied Xander pointing to his head.

"Have you gone completely nuts? Or do you not remember the night you told me how I came back wrong, beat me up and fucked me into oblivion bringing the house down with us?" Buffy said hastily with all her emotions.

Spike didn't remember because Spike wasn't here. Xander didn't want to hear this, didn't want to know this much. His stupid imagination kept taunting him with crude images of them. Over and over again, he couldn't stand it.

"Get out," he growled.

She didn't have to be told twice.


	7. 7

Loud crashing noises invaded his ears as he regained consciousness after sleep. Her heartbeat was steady as the ocean waves crashing into shore; one after another throughout the day never ending. Her body heat radiated back to him under the sheets, almost as if it were his own. Every moment when he woke Spike wished she were laying beside him. And every time she was he wished she would never leave his side. When she walked out the door it ment he was once again alone, alone to ponder the unlife in which he lived in. He was the monster caught somewhere between human and vampire, and only she made him feel like a man. 

Last night was the first time he made love to her. It was undeniably differernt and felt so much better than all the other times they shagged. He hoped that she wouldn't run off this morning, that maybe she felt it too. Maybe last night gave her a new outlook on him, on them.

It seemed a part of William was returning to Spike, that was the only reasonable explanation for it. Why else would such a girl make him feel so alive again? Except Buffy was not just a normal girl, she was the Slayer. The one thing in all the world he was taught to be afraid of. And not only that but she was exquisite. A perfectly beautiful piece of art molded into flesh and blood.

His desire to hold her was immense. Even though they were inches apart he wanted to feel her skin up against his. He carefully lowered his arm to her side, pulling her against him. Buffy laid there quietly in his arms, not moving a muscle. He still couldn't feel her though, couldn't smell the fresh vanilla scent of her hair.

Spike ran his fingers along her stomach searching for her belly button. She was so soft and . . . fluffy?

He opened his eyes to the blinding light of the sun through the windows. He jumped like a cat whose tale just got pulled and rolled off the bed to the floor, hitting his head on the nightstand. He pulled the comforter off the bed with him to shield him from the sunlight, still confused to when he got windows installed in his crypt. The bump on his head hurt like hell as he covered the spot with his hand.

Spike found himself in a very different situation. His mouth was dry and in need of water (of all things). He could still hear the heartbeat all around him even though Buffy turned out to be a sodding pillow. It was getting faster as it pounded into him. Spike's eyes widened as he felt he was suffocating under the comforter. He started to breathe, realizing that he needed to. It finally hit him that the mystery heatbeat was in fact his.

"Bloody Hell!"

The sun had risen only less than an hour ago as Tara walked down the street. There was still a crisp coolness to the air even with the low sun breaking through the clouds. She was on her way to the Magick Shop for some kind of aromatherapy candle to help soothe Buffy's mind as she worked through these tough times.

The information Buffy shared a couple of days ago was really intense. Tara felt so many things toward this new side of Buffy - sympathy, empathy but most of all guilt. Guilt because in some way Tara felt she pushed Buffy into her current situation. That by helping Willow do the spell to bring her back she too was accountable. She knew the risks, of Buffy coming back wrong, and yet she overlooked them. But too much of her time was spent thinking about the past. It was time to push forward and work through things, like she was doing with Willow.

She checked her watch, only 7:08. The shop didn't open until 8 but Anya was always there early. She liked to double check everything she checked the night before, just to make sure nothing was out of its place. Anya was a really hard worker given she is an ex-vengence demon, even if she was a little outlandish.

When Tara reached the door she noticed the lights were still out. She tried peering in the window to see if Anya was in before going to the door. Surprisingly it was unlocked. She caustiously entered the shop knowing that Anya never left the door unlocked if she wasn't in and that any thing remotlely unexpected could happen here on the Hellmouth.

"Anya?" she called out.

As Tara walked down the stairs she noticed all sorts of ingredients and candles lining the floor. It was evident by the smell that something was burnt last night. Pushed off into the corner was the table and chairs with Anya sitting with her back to the door.

"Anya?" Tara tried again. She gave no response and that's when Tara noticed how slumped she looked and a heavy white substance shattered on the floor. "Oh no."

Touching his hair and feeling all over his body Spike knew something was wrong. After a minute of sitting on the floor underneath the comforter he realized he wasn't in his crypt. But he wasn't sure he was in Buffy's house either. The only thought he could conclude to of why he was wearing these awful green pajamas was that Buffy had gotten him seriously drunk (which is very hard to do) and played dress up.

Using the comforter as a shield against the sun, he carefully crawled away from the bed and into what seemed like the living room. Spike slowly looked around eyeing the lavish windows across the back wall. He spotted the bathroom across the way and quickly crawled toward it. He could only imagine what an onlooker would be thinking at that moment.

If it really was his heart that was beating and his lungs that were working, then he should have a real reflection. The last time Spike ever saw what he looked like was in the early 1900's when him and Dru went to France and got their pictures drawn by an artist. They turned out to be quite tasteful, but then so was the artist.

When he finally got to the bathroom he closed the door and lost the blanket. No window, no sunshine which ment no dusting, he thought. Unless being human ment there was no chance of that . . . but Spike wasn't going to take the time to test that out. He stood up and went to the mirror, both anxious and excited.

He only saw himself for three seconds before he jolted back, spooked out of his wits and accidently landed in the bathtub seated across from the mirror.

Standing up and finally realizing why he was in these funny pajamas and was all of a sudden human, Spike looked at himself once more in the mirror.

"I'm the bloody whelp!" he cried.

It took him at least ten to fifteen minutes to calm down. When he found out who or what did this to him, he would surely rip out its throat. Or at least try to. This was the worst punishment he had ever been given. But Spike had come to a plan. He would get dressed in Xander's clothing, something that wasn't too poncy, clean up and go straight to Buffy's to figure this out.

Before he left the bathroom he had to check one thing out. Man to man. Totally natural. He undid the pajama bottoms and surveyed the equipment.

"Ay, not bad."


	8. 8

Buffy wandered aimlessly along the streets, hugging her arms around her body, not sure of where she was going. Her mind was turned on auto-pilot as she let her feet do the thinking. It was morning, that much was evident, but she coundn't decipher to what day or time it was. She felt numb, like somebody had frozen her and was now carving her up for dinner.

It didn't take long to recongnize Revello Drive. When Buffy saw her house she ambled over to the back door figuring if it was easier to get to her room quicker. She tentatively turned the door knob, hearing soft voices inside. It sounded like whoever it was was concerned about something. She thought about climbing through her window to aviod a crowd but then that would lead to too many questions of how and when she got home. As Buffy enterd she saw Willow and Dawn sitting at the kitched counter.

"Buffy! Hey, started to get worried there for a minute," Dawn said as she stood up. "It's almost eight."

"Oh, sorry. Must have lost track of time," she said lifelessly. Buffy gave her sister a little smile even though she felt terrible inside. She never should have fallen alseep in his arms, there was too much of that going around. She was always leaving Dawn alone or for others to care for, just so she could get out and enjoy the feeling of what he did to her.

"Shoudn't you be at school?" Buffy asked.

Dawn hesitated at her answer and Buffy could see at her face that the question asked was a wrong one. "No, today is Saturday," she answered unsurely.

"Are you okay?" inquiered Willow.

Buffy looked up, "Yeah, yeah. I just. . . " she wasn't sure what to say. The truth was deffinatley no possability. This was not the time to dump the 'I've been sleeping with Spike' baggage on her friends. Although since he practically dumped her, it wasn't like it really ever had to come out. "Tired," she finished.

Willow didn't seem to really accept that excuse, like she knew more than she was letting on. But Buffy quickly threw that notion out of her head, she had enough things to worry about today. Buffy nodded to Willow to reinforce that she really was okay, even if it was a lie, and started for her room.

i"So, did you do the Big Bad last night?" /i

Buffy spun around at the sound of Dawn's voice, taken aback by the question. Could her family and friends already know? "What?" she asked.

"I asked did you get the Big Bad last night. You know, should we go research or did you take care of it?"

Relief swept over Buffy, but strangely not as much as she thought. It was like a part of her wanted them to know so that all these secrets and lies would be over. That she wouldn't have to go around pretending everything was okay even though it wasn't.

"Yeah Dawnie," Buffy answered. "It was a long fight . . . but its over now."

Tara hurried to Anya's side, kneeling on the floor. She checked for a pulse and thankfully found a strong one. She tried gently shaking the ex-vengence demon, calling her name out in hopes of waking her. It took a while but Anya finally came out of it, still groggy from the long sleep.

"Nooo," Anya whined. "Five more minutes please, big Daddy. . ."

Big Daddy? Tara wasn't about to reflect on that thought. She didn't need to know what her friends did in their down time. "Anya, h-hey. C'mon wake up, i-its Tara."

"Hmm? Oh Tara, what are you - " Anya stopped short, clearly recongnizing that she wasn't at the apartment with Xander. "Oh no."

Tara turned her head to see what Anya was looking at. The white substance. It was clear to her now that it was a candle, and obviously Anya had been doing a spell. It must have been a pretty powerful one to knock her out like that, most big spells were.

Anya got up, her legs were a littly shaky but she managed to walk alright. She walked around the area where she had performed earlier. She knew there was a reason she didn't want to do that stupid spell. Was she here all night? And Tara had found her, not Xander. Where was he?

"Were you doing a spell last night?" Tara asked, getting ready to deliever the 'magicks are a powerful force' speech.

"Yes. . . oh, and look at this mess. I'm gonna have to clean it up and everything before the store opens! This is all Xander's fault you know, trying to get me to fix Buffy. . ." she huffed out.

"Fix Buffy?"

"Yeah, you know, cause she and Spike are orgasm buddies," she answered matter-of-factly. "Honestly, I don't know why he didn't see it before. It's so obvious."

Tara flinched as the words were swallowed down.

Buffy only half lied to her sister. She idid/i have a fight last night, not that it was long or hard or anything. Unless you count the one vamp who got an upperhand on her, but still, nothing major. And it iwas/i over, between her and Spike anyway. But soon enought he'd just come crawling back to her. . . right?

She was seated cross-legged on her bed, the door locked and the blinds closed to block out everything around her when the nerve finally struck. Why was she sitting here, alone and away from those who loved her? Why was she brooding over Spike? What the hell did he mean to her anyways? She hated him.

Buffy started to regret everything over the past couple months. All the times he touched her and took advantage of her and said he loved her. How she fell for those words that came out of his soft lips. The way Spike would just grab and embrace her and drown her misery away. The way his eyebrow arched when he thought naught thoughts, and the smirk on his face. And she loved the way . . .

A tear fell down her cheek as her emotions caught up with her once again. His words were echoing in her head. It was like he just woke up from a 2 year nap and all this time inbetween was a nightmare that had accidently come true.

She didn't hate him, at least not all the time. When he was being a smart-ass or just plain annoying then yeah, she hated him but she wasn't consumed by it. Buffy still felt something for him, she just woudn't admit it to herself because she was so confused trying to figure out everything else. She coudn't love him was what she always said. . . not that she didn't. He didn't have a soul, but he did have a chip.

During Buffy's inner-depth discussion with herself, there was a knock at the door. She didn't say anything, just waited.

"Buffy?" Willow called softly. She tried the doorknob and found it locked. "Sweetie, do you want to talk?"

Willow. Her best friend. They had grown so far away from each other, ever since. . . Buffy couldn't put her finger on it. She coudn't tell when her life had fallen apart. Could it have been before she died? Is that why she was so happy up there?

"I just really want to be along right now, Will," Buffy told her softly through the door.

"Okay, but j-just know that I'm here for you if you need me."

Buffy laid back down on her bed, tiny drops of tears spilling hesitantly from her eyes. 


	9. 9

Spike (in Xander's body) ran as fast as he could to the nearest sewer entrance. He had gotten used to taking them around town during the day. He could practically even map out the whole system from memory.

He had dug through all of Xanders clothing, even some of Anya's, and finally found something decent enough that wouldn't make him look like an idiot. He settled on some old dirty jeans and a black t-shirt. The git didn't have any good boots or doc martins so he had to do with what he had, which was a pair of worn-out sneakers. But added with a slicked back hair and the attitude of an 140 plus year old vampire, Spike managed to still keep his cool.

The run to the sewers wasn't bad, and he didn't feel like he was about to flame up at all. Spike wasn't going to take any chances, not as long as Buffy still remained around. The trip to the Summers' house was short and sweet and luckily for him, the back door was unlocked.

Buffy usually took a shower when she got home, but there wasn't any water running. He wondered what time she had left. It must have been when he was still sleeping cause he didn't hear her at all. But thats the way she liked it, she wasn't much for the mornin' pleasantries.

Spike heared the tv on and wandered in. He was dissapointed when he only saw Willow and the niblit. Maybe Buffy wasn't home yet, or maybe she was in her room.

"Xander, hey. Was that you coming throught the back door?" the witch questioned.

"Um, yeah. . .is Buffy here?" Spike asked quickly.

"Yeah, she's up in her room," Dawn replied sharply. "But her door is locked and she doesn't want to talk to anyone." Her voice held that sad, lonely, angered tone of a teenager in her prime.

"Why? Did something happen?"

Willow stood up and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. He took a glance back at Dawn before following.

"What's going on?"

Willow looked like she was caught up in her words which only made Spike more uncomfortable. Her face showed signs of concern and worry toward Buffy. Could she have been hurt when they were fooling around last night? He knew her back was pretty sore but she hadn't let on any signs of discomfort when they were in bed.

"I think you might be right," she let out. When he didn't acknowledge her statement she continued on. "I think there might be something going on between Buffy and Spike."

"What? What! W-why would you think that?" Spike demanded, his or well Xanders voice going high and shrilly.

Willow only looked at him in a state of pure confusion. Had he not just the night before begun making accusations about the pair? Normally she would just do a spell to see if there were any mutual feeling between the two, but since she was on a "time-out" she could only speculate along with the others. If she wanted to get back Tara, that was the ionly/i thing she could do.

"From what you said, I thought. . ." she began.

"Right! Yeah um, okay. . . so what makes you agree to my original thought?" he drawled out slowly.

It wasn't exactly a question to Willow as much as it was a question to himself. He coudn't just come out and say to her that 'I'm not the bloody whelp and I'm really Spike and I'm stuck in this body and get me the hell out!' It would be too embarrassing. Plus, Red coudn't work her mojo anymore since she was on leave.

"Well Buffy only home home a little while ago and she seemed. . . off. I-I don't know maybe she just tired, or maybe it was me, but she just gave off this. . . vibe. I mean, haven't you noticed that lately it seems like she's been really quite and alone alot?"

Willow didn't know what was going on inside Buffy's mind but she could just tell that she wasn't the same old Buffster. She was almost acting like she did when she got back, before she told everyone where she was.

But Buffy wasn't the only one giving off weird vibes. The way Xander was dressed and the way he just carried himself left Willow stumped as he climbed the stairs to Buffy's room without another word.

Xander was hungry. He wanted more than anything to pick up a young girl and savor the taste of her fresh blood. And then his stomach churned. He couldn't help thinking these thoughts but everytime he did he was reminded of what a vampire really was. A creature of the night, stalker, predator, bloodsucker. Xander had finally given in and gone to the fridge to get a drink and much to his distain, it tasted great.

Getting Buffy out of his sight was probably the best idea he had in a couple of days. Just looking at her brought a rush of images and thoughts. But the place still reeked of her. He could smell her in the bed, on the rugs, all over. That and cigarette smoke which he disliked, but strangely craved.

Xander had tried leaving, but that ultimately backfired too. He was scorched by the sun and almost caught flame but luckly closed the door just in time. Why the hell Spike would choose a crypt facing East was beyond him.

He was all alone. He couldn't go anywhere, do anything, but he didn't want to be seen in this state. Being trapped in Spike's body. . . he was changing. Changing into a monster. The rage and call of destruction, of the kill was beckoning him. How could Spike resist it? How could anyone?

Xander squated in the corned, hugging his knees and rocked back and forth. Trying to block out everyting around him.

Buffy wouldn't open the door. She wouldn't even respond to his calls. He could only imagine what she was doing in there. Surely she would have heard him by now if she was sleeping, right?

Spike knew he couldn't break down the door, but he had to get in someway. Willow said she wasn't acting right, but then what did she know? She was the one to make Buffy's life so miserable anyway. But if it wasn't for the witch, he would have never known what it felt like to have Buffy in his arms. To feel her underneath him whle she bucked and screamed his name.

He wasn't completely daft. There had been plenty of times when he had been locked out of something he couldn't knock down. The best part of having Dru around? She always had hair accesories. It only took a few minutes to find some bobby pins in the Summers bathroom. And after that, it was just a matter of seconds.

Whe he got inside her room he found her laying on her bed, facing away from him. Spike closed the door and she still didn't move.

"Buffy?"

She didn't respond right away and when she did she chose her words carefully, pronouncing them with a slight edge of annoyance.

"I'm really tired. I had a long night . . . please, just leave me alone."

Spike moved around her room to the other side of the bed, kneeling down in front of her. Her eyes were bloodshot like she had been crying. She looked so tired. . .

"Xander please, just go."

Spike reached out and caressed her cheek with his hand. He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Buffy sat up, wiping her eyes and let her legs dangle off the bed in front of him.

"Xander. . ."

"Sshh, don't call me that."

She looked slightly confused and he understood that. He wasn't sure about what he was going to do next, if she would realize it was actually him.

"Just close your eyes," he whisped.

Spike laced his hand through her hair as he brought her closer to him. Their lips were so close, he could feel her breath on him. It felt so unnatural to have his body heat rise within. When they finally kissed he didn't hold back. It was powerful and passionate, raw and vigorous. It was exactly like the night they had finally come together in the broken down house.

Buffy was lost. Her mind was swirling as thier tongues engaged in battle. Different sensations flowed over her body making it hum. He would probably sense her arousal. Hell, he could probably smell it. It felt so good to do this, like it was her calling. She was always amazed at how rugged his breathing became when they were together like this, because it wasn't like he had to breathe.

But suddenly something became caught in her minds eye. Hadn't he just insulted her? Why was he. . .oh, god!

Buffy broke the kiss abrubtly and crawled away from him until she was standing on the other side of the bed. Xander! She had just made out with Xander! He was getting married an yet the look on his face was like he enjoyed it. And the whole time they were kissing all she could feel was Spike. iSpike/i felt like that, he iheld/i her like that.

Her face was distraught. Buffy's fingers lightly touched her lips, trying to make sense of what just happened. She looked at him and saw that twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face. When she finally came to a conclusion, she visibly calmed and looked at him in wonderment.

"Spike?" 


	10. 10

"Spike?"

He slowly stood and gazed at her from across the bed. To say he was relieved would be a massive understatement. It was as if Spike were the Titan Atlas and he had just recieved the immense gift of the heavens being lifted from his shoulders.

A quirky smile played at his lips and he had all he could do to hold back. Buffy, ihis/i Buffy had felt it; she felt the spark entangled in thier grasp. It was always there for him, that being one of the things he could never tear himself from even when she begged him to leave her alone. Spike realized he should say something, but what? There were no words he could use to describe the pleasure of knowing that Buffy recognized it was him.

For Buffy, looking at Xander and knowing it wasn't quite him, was not as complex as it seemed. In every aspect of him, the clothes he wore, his messy hair, his posture and voice, it all screamed out Spike. And the kiss, that was the most distinct part about him. He held nothing back, all the fear and joy, the pain and hurt, it was all there.

It took a few moments for Buffy to find her voice again, she was so intrigued with the man in front of her.

"How . . . how did this happen?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly. Spike ment for it to come out seriously, but it inevitably came out as a half giggle.

Buffy couldn't help but to smile back at him. The situation he found himself in was most ironic, but he seemed like he was taking it well. Spike walked over to her and grabbed her hands in his. The look on his face, on Xanders face was of pure little boy charm.

"Here, feel this," he said excitedly as he positioned her hand over his chest. "Its my heartbeat."

Buffy could feel it, she could hear it the deafness in the air was so high. Spike's smile beamed on his new face. He was so earnest and . . . vulnerable. The vampire whose heart had been decaying since the late 1800's had suddenly been restored. He was human, he was . . .

"I'm ialive/i, Buffy. I'm really alive."

She didn't want to tear this moment from him. He was so happy, all the darkness just wiped away. But every time she looked back in his eyes, they weren't his. This wasn't him. She said it as softly as she could, "Yeah, but in Xander's body."

"Okay, not the best thing to happen since me an' the whelp don't get along but . . . "

"Xander . . ." Buffy whispered. If Spike was in Xander's body, then that would mean Xander is in Spike's body! She gasped as the knowledge hit her with a destructive force. "Oh my God, Spike when did this happen to you?"

"Uh, this mornin' I guess. I woke up this way."

Spike watched Buffy stare into nothingness. She did that alot lately, it was her way of trying to figure things out. That or she used him as a punching bag while she shouted out all her mixed up feelings to him. It was okay though, everything she did to him, because he knew her better than anyone. He could crumble her inner barriers in an instant.

Buffy was barely aware of herself, let alone Spike she was so deep in thought. All the things he said to her this morning? They weren't his, and that hurt Buffy more than if they were Spike's words. It was all making sense to her now, and she was beating herself up for not noticing it before. She sat down on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to relax as much as possible. Buffy looked at Spike and it was like he had a question mark etched across Xanders face, trying to read her mind.

"Xander is in your body," she stated bluntly.

"Oh. . . oh! This is . . great! I wonder if he's gotten peckish for some blood yet," Spike chuckled. Buffy looked at him like he had lost his wit. "What?" he asked defensively.

"You haven't thought about this before now?"

"Well no. Look, Angelus was the big thinker, okay? I was always. . ."

Buffy cut him off, "You don't get it do you? I woke up to ihim/i, " she stated slowly. Her voice was calm but her eyes told another story. They looked at him as if to say, 'you really don't want me to continue.'

Spike's face looked grim as he sobered up. "What happened?"

"Look, we have to get over there okay? He's got to be freaking out and --"

"What happened? He wasn't freakin' out before?" He looked at her with squinted eyes, those eyes of his that could make her melt.

"Of course not!" she scoffed. "I mean, why would he? He only woke up in a vampire's body to his best friend giving him a blow job and then pretended to be you and told me how--" But Buffy ran out of breath. She tried to collect herself for the sake of Spike who now looked like he was about to ram his fist through a wall. "I didn't know it was him, and he didn't let anything on."

Spike actually was thinking about ramming his fist through a wall, many many walls. He balled his fists as he tensed up thinking about what Buffy just said. Xander pretended to be him? And she bought it?! As soon as he was back in his body, the whelp was gonna get a brutal beating, whether he personally gave it out or just watched. Spike wasn't completly powerless with the chip, he still could get minions to do his biding.

"You --" he began.

"I didn't know, I swear. I thought it was you," she persisted.

Spike knew her words held the truth. Her eyes could never lie. "Lets go." 


	11. 11

Okay, there was a missing chapter (thanks for the heads up about that!) and so now that is fixed. Go back to chapter 8 if you were confused with the last couple updates. I'm really sorry bout this mess!

The air was tense and quiet while Spike waited for Buffy to freshen up. His jaw was clenched as he thought of what might have happened at the crypt. How far did Buffy go? Spike had known that Xander had always thought of Buffy as more than a friend, and the way he heard it the whelp once had some sort of crush on her. How far did Xander let it go? His terrifying thoughts had ended as soon as Buffy walked out of the bathroom.

They walked down the stairs in silence and headed for the door. Dawn was still watching tv and Willow was in there with her glancing at the tv once and a while until returning to newspaper in her lap. Spike grabbed Buffy's arm before she got to the door and wheeled her around the corner out of the view of the others.

"You need to spend more time with your friends and sister," he whispered.

Buffy's only response was staring at Spike, a little hurt but mostly confused. She spent time with them all day. Willow lived in the house and there wasn't a day that went by without a visit to the Magick Shop.

"They think you're acting strange and they're gettin' ideas bout us in their heads."

Both a little embarrased and troubled that her friends may have actually found out about her and Spike, she looked in thier direction. If Dawn knew anything she would have deffinatly told her, but Willow. . . ? Buffy looked back at Spike who only gave her a shrug of his shoulders.

Buffy ventured into the family room and was greeted with a warm smile from Willow.

"Hey! Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"Yeah," Buffy replied. She could feel Spike come up from behind her and silently supporting her by leaning up against the door frame. "Me and um, Xander have to go out and take care of a problem, but are you gonna be busy later?"

"Uh, I don't think so. No classed today so, I'm free. Watcha need?"

"I was thinking we could hang out. You know, you, me, Dawn and a whole day of girly stuff with no interruptions. The stuff normal people do." This got Dawn's attention who before was completly ignoring her.

"You really mean it?" Dawn asked, simple words attached with such heavy baggage.

"Yeah Dawnie, what-do-ya think?"

"Cool," she replied with a smile.

"Sounds fun," said Willow with a wink.

Buffy turned around and was met with a smirk on Spike's face. She blushed slightly but continued on to the door. She had it slightly open and was about to say 'see you later' to Willow and Dawn but Spike's hand slammed the door closed.

"Wait, luv."

Tara had sent Anya home in hopes that she could clean herself up, change clothes and come back to the Magick Shop around 11. It wasn't an easy task, to get Anya to willingly leave the store. In the meanwhile, Tara had kept herself busy by cleaning up the alter and spell ingrediants while waiting for the early morning customers.

By now she had accomplished every item that needed to be done and stood behind the counter waiting anxiously. She needed to get ahold of the spell book that Anya had used to see if there was a reversal spell included in the text. Tara also needed to get ahold of Buffy, to tell her what was going on. That was what she was most nervous about. Buffy never ment for her words to come out as they did, but now that they were the two girls had more of a special bond. But how would she take it if she knew that not only Tara, but Anya and Xander also knew her secret? And most likely within a few days, all of the Scoobie gang would know? Not well probably since Buffy had practically broken down in Tara's arms the other night.

It would be better if she could get ahold of her first rather than Xander. Who knew what kind of rediculous statements he would throw at Buffy. He would probably just push her away from them (unintentionally, of course) instead of bringing her closer like she needed. She needed support, not judgement.

Tara walked over to the phone, dialed the numbers to the Summer's house and waited for someone to pickup.

Without another word Spike slipped back into the kitchen leaving Buffy waiting at the front door. When he returned he carried a big wooly blanket that he wrapped around his shoulders. As realization struck, Buffy burst into giggles. Spike didn't think this was amusing at all, but the expression of the face of Xander kept the laughter going.

"You don't need that," she managed to say before Spike got really annoyed. He only responded in confusion which was normal. It made Buffy feel better though, maybe because for once their positions were switched; he was the vulnerable one and she was the one that could make the pain go away.

"You're human, remember?" she said softly. "There's no vampire left in you anymore, so you can go out in the sun."

Buffy opened the door slowly, letting the sunlight filter in at small increments. Spike didn't say a word, it was like he was hypnotized by the brightness of the morning sky. The blanket casually dropped from his shoulders as he took tiny steps out of the house. When Spike left the safety of the front porch his body was enveloped in warmth from the sun.

She watched patiently as Spike took his first steps into sunlight, banished from the rays for the past 140 years. Buffy felt a pang in her chest while watching him. If she closed her eyes she could see him, see his movement and the way his real body would react to the first glimpse of light. She wished, just for a second that whatever had caused this to happen to Spike, would have made him human in his own body. She would have been truly happy then.

Spike made his way over to the lawn, still staring up to the sky. Buffy was hot on his heels, like an invisible leash was attached between them. When he looked back down they were only a few inches apart and Buffy was looking up at him with those deep soulful eyes. He scooped her up in his arms, taking her by surprise as she wrapped her arms around him. He twirled them around, their foreheads touching as a feeling of bliss passed between them.

"Hello?"

The phone picked up on the third ring. Willow was on the other line.

"Um, h-hi."

"Tara? Oh, hey!" responded Willow, as butterflies surged into her stomach. "W-what can I do for you? I mean, assuming there's something I can do . . . " she trailed off.

"Actually, uh. . . is Buffy there?" Tara hated that Willow was the one person that had to pick up the phone this morning. She knew that if they were to get back together, she would have to be the one to make the first move. And Willow was doing so well too, but she needed to get all the magick stuff washed out of her system. It took time, and hopefully that time was almost over.

"She, uh, just left with Xander. She should be back later though." The dissapointment was evident in her voice.

"Oh . . . Can you tell her to c-call me as soon as she gets back? I'm at the Magick Shop. I-it's really important."

Tara had hung up the phone after that which was going to leave Willow in a sappy mood for the rest of the day. As she was hanging the phone up to the reciever, Dawn walked in.

"So?" Dawn asked, hopeful that the two older girls would get back together again.

Willow only shook her head. "She was looking for Buffy."

"Buffy? Well, she shouldn't be gone too far yet. Do you want me to go tell her that Tara called?" suggested Dawn.

"Yeah, why don't you," the red head replied. "She said it was important."

Spinning like they were, Buffy never looked more beautiful. Her short hair was loose and flying about her face, her eyes were closed as she smiled in excitement. He slowed them down, careful not to drop her or tumble over while he attacked her lips. They were so soft, yet power hungry. Even in a different body, her kisses still tasted the same.

Spike broke off first, gasping for breath, this new feeling unusual to him. Buffy didn't want to open her eyes, all she would see was Xander. She just wanted to stay in the comfort of Spike's arms. They weren't spinning anymore but he was still holding her up, his hands on her ass while she hung her legs tightly around his waist.

Spike whispered in her ear before he nipped it, "I want to make love to you under the sun."

The proposal wasn't exactly surprising due to the bulge in his pants. He was hard, she was wet, and the feeling was mutual.

Buffy sighed, "I can't." Not that she didn't want to, he noted.

Their little 'vacation' was interrupted by a wide eyed and open mouthed little sister. Buffy immediately jumped down from what looked like Xander's arms to the ground and set at least three feet between them.

"Dawn!"

The 15 year old didn't know what to say. Her sister, her role model, the Slayer was making out with her own best friend, a man about to get married in the next few weeks. This just wasn't right. She opened her mouth to speak but at that moment nothing came out, and Buffy just stood there looking guilty as charged.

"If this isn't the work of the Hellmouth, I am so gonna be sick," she said.

"It it! It is," exclaimed Buffy. "Look, I can explain. . . "

"You know," Dawn said as she starting backing away. "I don't think I wanna know." Buffy's explanation would probably only include too many details that would freak her out. It was best if she just pretended she never saw any of this.

"Nibblet," coaxed Spike, trying to get the girl to turn around and listen to whatever Buffy might tell.

His voice actually did stop her, but it was more of what he called her. Nibblet was her name, it was the name Spike called her, and no one was allowed to call her that besides him. She walked back over to the two, the whole time keeping her eyes glued on Xander. She then turned her attention to Buffy and glared at her with peircing eyes.

At first Buffy wasn't sure of what she would actually inform her sister to. But the thought that Dawn was probably the only one who would not only understand, but also be happy for her, comforted Buffy.

"It's not what you think. This, um, this isn't Xander," she stated slowly. "It's Spike."

"Spike . . ."

"Yeah. We've . . . um, you know. We're together," she sputtered out.

"So you guys have been like, going out?!"

"I wouldn't use that term. Besides, its . . . it's complicated," replied Spike as he filled the space between him and Buffy and placed his arm on her lower back. It wasn't just to reassure her, but also to show how proud and honored he was.

Dawn smiled slightly. "How long?"

"Um, about a month or so I guess." said Buffy, unsure of the answer herself.

"A month! And you didn't tell me?!

"It's a secret! Please, Dawn don't tell anyone. They wouldn't understand." That was true of course and so was the emotion Buffy held inside her. She thought that no one could see, that she hid it so well but what are little sisters for if not to know everything that's going on in their older siblings lives?

"I wish you would have told me," Dawn said softly.

"I know."

"And Xander?" she asked.

"In Spike's body. We're going over there now. Hopefully he hasn't hurt himself too bad by now."

"Not bloody likely," Spike muttered under his breath, just loud enough for the girls to hear.

"Good luck with that. Oh! Tara called, I think it was important." Dawn said as she began going back to the house. Buffy only nodded in acknowledgement as she and Spike began their walk to the cemetary, hand in hand.


	12. 12

Buffy entered the silent crypt first, followed closely by Spike. They looked around the upper portion and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Everything was in its place, nothing overturned or upset, every piece the same as it was before. Buffy had expected to find the place a mess. Xander wasn't exactly the poster boy for vilolence, but trapped in Spike's body, who knows what he could be capable of.

Spike indicated that he wasn't at the top level and motioned for them to check the lower half. He was about to climb down first but Buffy stopped him. If Xander was down there, it wouldn't be too good for him to see his own body right away.

When they reached the undergroud part of the crypt all was dark. A lump formed in Buffy's heart, fearful that perhaps Xander had freaked out and got himself dusted. Not only would she loose her best friend, but Spike would be stuck in Xander's body forever. As Buffy strained her ears, she could almost hear a slight whimpering. His plantinum hair finally caught her eye. Xander was crunched up in a ball in the corner, his hands over his ears as he rocked back and forth on the ground. He looked absolutly devastating.

Buffy quickly ran to him, kneeling beside him and took his hands in hers.

"Xander, hey . . . its me," Buffy told him calmly. "Its alright, okay? We're going to fix this."

He flinched on the ground as Spike rounded the corner in his body. Usually turning into a vampire made the man or woman feel incredibly alive, confident and also a little cocky. But this, what Xander was going through was pain. His senses were heightened, he could hear and smell everything, and it was just too much to bear. He didn't want to be a vampire, and so he sat on the ground holding on to that last piece of humanity in him before he hit bottom.

"No," he said as he slowly stood up. The whole time his eyes were fixed on his face, at Spike. "It's really not alright."

"Xander--" Buffy began.

"Don't. Don't try to explain it to me," Xander yelled, shaking his head. "For months you've been hiding from your friends, retiring into his arms. How could you?" His words were thrown at her with utter dissapointment and hatred .

"Don't lay all this on her," warned Spike. "The only reason she's here is to make sure you didn't stake--"

"Shut up! Who gives you the right to--"

"Me?! What about you?" Spike countered back. "Instead of being mature 'bout this situation you go out and take the 'insecure little boy' routine and pretend to be me? Yeah, she told me 'bout what you said. . ."

By now the intervention became war. War between two men over one girl, the things people write fairy tales and epic poems about. Xander lunged at Spike and missed, but Spike wasn't going to sit out on the sidelines on this one. He didn't care that he would be pummeling his own body.

Spike picked up the boy and slammed him against the wall, words from Buffy echoing yet unheard. Without vampire strength, he found himself in more of a dissadvantage, but that didn't stop him. However, when Xander got the upperhand he pushed Spike off of him and down to the ground. He layed one single punch to the face before he screamed in pain, jolting backwards as his head felt like it was splintering in two.

Buffy wasn't about to get in between two dueling baddies, she knew better than that. But when Xander jumped back she found her hole to intervene and stop them from killing each other. She went to stand in front of Spike, cornering him off from the hurting Xander. All this body swapping was starting to get confusing for everyone.

Spike erupted in laughter as Xander held his head.

"This is brilliant! Bloody whelp 's got my chip!"

"Look, I'm sorry," said Buffy, focusing on Xander at the moment. Spike's laughter was still heard in the backgroud. "I didn't want you to find out this way."

"No, I bet not. What were you going to do? Not tell anyone and wait for him to slip up? To give you one reason not to sleep with that dead piece of shit? Huh? Then you wouldn't have to tell anyone of your little affair."

"No," she paused, trying to calm her nerves and not explode on him like he would want. "It's not like that. You woudn't understand . . ."

"Of course not," he scoffed.

"You don't know how hard its been! Just being here . . having to live a life that I . . . I was happy up there." she snapped at him, desperate to just knock him out with a single punch.

"You could have told me."

"You didn't want to know." Buffy said through clenched teeth.

"So you just let him in? He doesn't have a soul, Buffy! Do you even get that?"

Buffy took a deep breath to relax and spoke slowly. "He may not have a soul, but he does love me. Spike was there for me when I needed someone, when you guys, my friends were to blind to see that I needed help! He may not be perfect, okay? But none of us are. Spike has done more for us over the past couple years than you would ever give him credit for. How many times has he saved your life? Or took care of Dawn, for that matter?"

Xander opened his mouth with a comeback for her comment but Buffy cut him off before he got the chance.

"Look," she continued. "Meet us at the Magick Shop at 7. We'll hopefully have all this figured out by then and we can switch your bodies back. Until then, just think about what I said."

Buffy led Spike out of his crypt, not saying a word until they were safely outside in the cover of sunlight. But even then, it was not she who spoke first.

"What are we going to do after this?" he asked quietly. Buffy almost sensed a vibe of insecurity in his voice.

"You mean like where, or . . .?"

"No," he paused and look her straight in the eye as he spoke soft words that weren't ment to hurt her. "He knows about us, and so does the Nibblet and Red now . . . are you still gonna hide under the cover of darkness?"

From what she had told Xander, Spike really didn't think so. He didn't think that she would want to hide and keep secrets anymore, not when she knew it was tearing her up inside. And Buffy had practically said that she loved him, although her eyes had told him that long ago. But what would that mean for them, if all the Scoobies knew of thier relationship? Surely the old Watcher wouldn't approve, even thought he was in the Mother Country, and obviously neither did Xander.

And what if Angel found out? For Spike, that question was answered in two seperate parts. On the one hand, he was scared shitless because he had taken what his sire had previously claimed. The punishment was severe and Spike had not wished to do that twice in one lifetime, even if it hadn't happened in over a century. But on the other hand, he couldn't wait to see ol' Peaches' face. To look down upon him in glory as he relished in the fact that Buffy had chosen him to be her champion.

It was a mixed dilemma that would not be solved easily.

"Um, I-I don't know," answered Buffy truthfully. "I guess I haven't really thought about it."

They continued walking, Buffy artfully dodging a real answer to the question. They still had to make a stop to see Tara before heading home. When they found her at the Magick Shop they were informed of the news: Everyone knew that something was going on between the pair, everyone except Giles of course, who Buffy was sure that if he found out he would have a heart attack.

All of the secrets were out in the open, exposed to the emotional daggers of others. If her friends ganged up on her now, Buffy wasn't sure she would be able to deal.

When it came to problems of the heart, Buffy was at a loss. Everyone she had ever loved had left her and now a potential love was back in her life. A part of her felt that if she admitted her feelings to her friends, he would surely leave her just like the others. But then, Buffy wasn't even that sure of what her feeling were. It seemed that the only one who ever understood them was Spike.

When it was time for the girls' day out, Spike quietly slipped away, but not before whispering in Buffy's ear that he would see her soon. The vampire-turned-human spent the rest of the day walking through the park and streets of the city, enjoying the warmth of the luminous sun overhead before he would be turned back. Although Spike did enjoy himself, the whole time he yearned to be by his love's side.

The day dragged on for what seemed like forever and Buffy felt like she was on a podium giving a speech on English Literature. She kept checking her watch, grateful for when the six hours would wind down and she could be alone without confrontation and concerned views from others. Mostly it was Willow who kept asking such personal questions about Spike that really drove Buffy to the point of annoyance.

However, Buffy got through it with only a couple minor disappearances from the group so that she could stifle a silent scream. By the end of the day she had regained her composure and headed to the Magick Shop (once again) to face the beat of the drums. Tara had found the reversal spell and it was time to return the correct bodies to their owners. 


	13. 13

A/N: okay, last chapter! hope you all enjoy! thanks for the reviews!

It was almost seven o'clock and neither Spike nor Xander were at the Magick Shop yet. Buffy waited anxiously, her eyes fixed to the door until she occasionally reverted her glance to the clock. As the bell to the front door chimed, Buffy looked up in anticipation but was let down by the figures of only Willow and Dawn. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Tara look up from the spell book and flinch slightly. 'Willow shouldn't be here,' she thought, but no one would dare tell her that.

Finally her hopes were lifted when Spike sauntered in. He locked her gaze and Buffy smiled inside as a feeling of relief washed through her. She was worried that perhaps Spike had paid a visit to Xander to get back at him for all he'd done, but that was not the case.

"Which one is this again?" she heard Anya ask.

"That's Spike," replied Tara.

Anya blushed inwardly. The vampire that inhabited her soon-to-be-husband was so much more. . .sexier than usual.

"Have we figured out a way to get me back to normal?" Spike asked. "I'm not much one for wearing whelp."

"Um, yeah. It's a pretty simple spell, actually." Tara said hesitantly. "The original was ment to make Buffy see her mistakes, n-namely you, Spike. B-but, um, the object used to represent Buffy was a photo of Xanders. His small influence caused the spell to backfire and be performed on him instead."

"I don't get it though," Dawn stated. "If the spell was ment to fix mistakes, how come they switched bodies?"

"Well, um--"

"Probably because Xander never gave Spike a decent chance," interrupted Buffy. "He always hated him even when Spike became good." She could feel Spike's eyes on her but she wouldn't look back at him. "So the spell made him take a walk in Spike's shoes, to see what its like to live that life instead of always being on the outside looking in? I don't know, that's my guess."

It was silent for just a bit too long and Buffy started to feel like she was on spotlight.

"Yeah, that makes sense," said Willow giving Buffy an understanding nod.

Dawn came over to sit next to Buffy and looked up at Spike. "So what is it like? To be alive and to be able to go out into the sun again?"

"Well, in all honesty I've been out in the sun before. Only for a short while though," remarked Spike.

"You mean when you tried to kill my sister wearing the Gem of A-something or other?" Dawn giggled to herself when Spike furrowed his brows. "It's not hard to find these things out."

"Yeah well . . . this is bloody different. Feelin' you heartbeat an' all," he chuckled. "Havin' to actually breathe."

When Xander entered the store things quickly quieted down. Buffy wouldn't look him directly in the eye and it seemed that he was doing his part to ignore her too. She hoped that this incident wouldn't ruin thier friendship. They've worked too hard to just throw it away over something like Spike. But if given an ultimatem, she wasn't sure of which man she would pick and that worried her.

"Oh come on! Don't be shy just cause I've arrived," declared Xander. "Look, I'm the un-life of the party!"

"L-let's just get you guys switched back again," said Tara as she started to finalize the preperations.

Anya casually walked over to Buffy. "You know, I've heard vampires can last all night and are very generous in the orgasm-giving department. Can I take Xander home and try him out?"

"NO!" yelled both Xander and Spike at the same time.

A misty-light rose from each of the candles within the circle. The different colors-- white, black, blue, yellow and red -- mixed together into one swirling light mixture. Tara sat in front of the circle chanting the reversal spell while Spike and Xander stood inside. The light seemed to grow more vibrant, swirling around the two males until it burst and eveloped them for a mere instant. Spike and Xander seemed to glow with a radiant energy and a second later, the light was gone.

Xander felt his body over, touching his face for any resemblance of his old self and checking his hands and clothing. Spike needn't check to see if he was back again, he felt it inside. Although he was as delighted as hell to be back in his own body, he did miss his heartbeat. He had died again, only this time the raw animal power and hunger was gone, leaving a slight void in its wake.

Xander looked Spike in the eyes, the urge hurt him was overwhelming. He knew he had no chance of doing that though with the others in the room. They stood very close so that Xander was able to whisper in a low, menacing voice that Buffy could not hear.

"If you ever hurt her, don't think that you'll get a quick and easy dusting. I will break every single bone in your body and cut off your manly pieces before you can escape to hell."

Spike could see in his eyes that he ment it. And somehow, that made him respect Xander a little more.

It now came to the awkward part of the night where no one knew exactly what they were supposed to do. They weren't sure if they were supposed to acknowledge the new relationship or act as if it was just another night with the Scoobie gang. It was getting late so Willow and Dawn took off, followed closely by Anya and Xander.

Buffy and Spike hadn't made direct contact all night, and now the pair stood out in the open. He tried to study her, but her face was deadpan. He inched closer, the need to be within her growing inside. But just before Spike could touch her, something inside Buffy was released. For some reason she was too uncomfortable with him back in his own body. She tried to swallow it down and took a deep breath before anouncing in a barely audible voice, "I have to patrol." She practically ran out the the Magick Shop, leaving a stunned Spike and worried Tara behind.

It was easy enough to just follow her scent. She knew that, but she was running from him anyways, for no apparent reason. It didn't make sense to him, and he guessed it probably didn't make sense to Buffy either. But that was what her was there for, to make her pain go away. When he was able to catch up with her, she was in Restfield Cemetary, patrolling alone in the dark comfort of the shadows.

"Whats wrong with you, Slayer?" he asked teasingly. "Your virtue flutterin' back again?"

She didn't respond.

"Buffy. . . " She stopped walking away from him but didn't turn around.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "But I can't do this." He wouldn't understand. Spike stepped closer and Buffy inched back. If she let him near, she would grow weak and she didn't want to be that.

Spike tilted his head and looked at her longingly, "Do what?"

"Be with you," she choked out with a tear in her eye. "Or anyone," she uttered to herself as she started briskfully walking away. Luckily for Spike, and not so much for Buffy, he also heard it and followed.

He grabbed her arm and spun her around, holding on tight so that she couldn't flee. Spike looked in her eyes, and saw lonliness, desperation, and misery. All the things about her he thought he could control were now unreachable. Buffy felt now, more than ever, like a lost little girl. The Slayer in her washed away in that instant, leaving her fragile and vulnerable in his arms. She felt limp, like she had given up on life.

Spike rested his forehead against hers and she said to him, "I can't love you."

He sighed a breath of unneeded air. "Yes you do, Buffy. I can see it in your eyes and the way you move. You say you can't 'cause your not supposed to, right? A girl like you 's not supposed to love a monster."

"You're not a monster," she said quickly but deffiantly.

"Then tell me why."

He still held her tight against him. A part of Buffy didn't want him to let go either. She felt free in his arms. She hesitated, waiting until maybe Spike would give up on her and leave. But he didn't.

"The only thing you'll get from my love is pain," she said. "And then you'll leave just like the others."

It was true. It was what always happened. First it was her father. Every girl is daddy's little girl, he treated her special, adorned her with gifts, loved her completly. But then Hank left her and her mother. He disappeared from their lives, not even bothering to call or show up when Joyce died. Or when Buffy died for that matter. She always thought that, it was because of me. I must have done something.

Her mother had taken Buffy away from that scene when they moved to Sunnydale. Partially it was because of the burnt down school gym, but it was also because of him.

With Angel, Buffy had thought she had fallen in love. She did fall in love, with a souled vampire. Even though their relationship was towards the agnsty side, at that time it seemed everything was perfect. That was also when Spike first showed up. She would never forget the first time she saw him. But then everything changed. Angel became Angelus, he killed and taunted her friends until Buffy sent him to hell. When Angel came back it was a while before they could be together again. It was awkward at points, but both parties worked past it without really mentioning it. Maybe thats what went wrong. Maybe thats why he left, because she again did something wrong.

In college she met Riley. But by that time she had lost her father, the love of her life, and been humiliated by a boy named Parker. She didn't think she could love again. Buffy felt as if her heart was chained up inside, never to be revealed completely. Riley had stuck around a lot longer than expected. She was his very first love, but he was not hers. In fact, part of the reason he left was because Buffy never really loved him. Cared for him, yes, but not love. She never let him get close enough for it to be love.

Buffy was devastaed when her mother died. It was then that she dove into her responsability of taking care of Dawn. Her world had fallen apart, everyone she ever cared for had gone away and so she made a pact inside, to never get hurt again. That was why it was so east to jump. She knew her sister would be taken care of by her friends. And that they would be able to handle the Hellmouth until a new Slayer arrived.

Buffy never did get to see the way Spike mourned her death.

When she was pulled from Heaven she became a different Buffy. Her heart and emotions were closed. She told herself that she was different, that she was wrong. Because real living girls were never this ice-cold and alone.

Spike made all that vanish. He filled her head with images and light that no other being could. He filled her emptiness that had been growing since her father's departure. He knew what it was like to be dead inside. There was a sensation of someone tall standing in the shadows, of the smell of cigarettes, whiskey and leather waiting for her, and a desire to be enveloped by him that always made her escape into his confinds. He made her feel free. He made her feel loved.

Buffy did love Spike, and she knew it inside. But she didn't want to admit it because then he would leave.

Spike looked deep into her eyes, holding them for centuries. "I will never leave you. I love you Buffy Summers."

Thier mouths infused in that instant, exchanging secrets with thier tounges. Everything about the kiss was passionate as a spark passed between them.

He was on top of her, holding himself up by his arms on the bed. His tip slightly brushing her silken folds, teasing her. They had not stopped kissing until now, only being slowed down by tombstones and doorways. In one full thrust he filled her, groans emiting from each others throats. They kept eyecontact the entire time.

He moved slow and meaningful, but the effect was sensational. Rugged breathing escaped from both of them. She rested her hand behind his neck and brought him down, inviting him to become entangled with her soul. Spike licked the nape of her neck sending a chill through Buffy's spine before bitting her with solid teeth, breaking the skin just enough to send out a few dropplets of blood. He would not claim her, at least not tonight. He sucked on the spot, sending Buffy over the edge as she began to shudder within him.

Through the moans and gasps of their sexual melodies, one thing was heard clear as a bell.

"I love you Spike."

The End


End file.
